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Easy until it isn’t-Part 1

 

“I’m glad it’s nearly December.” At least I’m thinking this while I’m mulling over open thoughts sitting in my coffee shop on a very warm Saturday in November. By the time I post this it’ll be nearly the end of the year which is specific to a date I have in my countdown app, December 28.

The 2022 year has passed faster than I could have ever thought and we’re now in the cusp of beginning another calendar year. This year needed to pass quickly, in my opinion. “Pressure makes diamonds.”- quoting the words of a famous tumbler post and also the words of my director at work during one of our leadership retreats. The year 2022 was all about adjusting to pressure, refining myself, resilience and not taking no for an answer. All of these things took me through the emotional, mental, and physical ringers only to spit out a stronger and more confident version of me.

I’m not sure how much I believe in manifesting good energy, it seems silly or something bearing a similarity to reading a daily horoscope.

How much of our future can we actually know much less have any say in? You can wear a seatbelt in hopes of keeping safe in a moving vehicle, but you have no control over what happens on the open road or behind the wheel of other vehicles or leverage in the actions of another driver. Yet like applying a seatbelt, we do what we can or what we think will secure our safe travels to an anticipated destination.

“No pacing, just racing.” ß Some kind advice given by a friend that I received while checking Facebook during our commute to JIA. The marathon work had been building for many weeks and finally the time to put the hours of training and days of carbing and hydrating leading into this major event was almost upon us.

The first few days in Richmond Virgina for the Alianz Partners Marathon was met with chilly temperatures and plenty of fog in our site seeing. We came up to Virginia a few days earlier than expected due to Tropical Storm Nicole and spent the days leading up to the marathon walking around the city and getting in several high card lunches and dinners before the big day. As many runners do, we planned our days to accommodate extra sleep and relaxation before taking on our first and second marathon. 

After day two in VA, we started following the weather forecast closely since we noticed the temperatures weren't as chilly as we originally anticipated. They say to 'travel north' for the marathon so you can take advantage of the physical advantages that the cooler temps would bring, and we began to notice around Thursday that it was unprecedently warm in the mornings with temps in the mid 60's. According to stats on the marathon website, the temperature at start time for this race the past 13 years had an average Fahrenheit of 43 degrees. We were not seeing this in the upcoming forecast and were beginning to worry.

"You can't control the weather." As Matt said while we were sitting in a Panera Bagel grabbing breakfast for our drive through Blue Ridge. While he was absolutely correct, I couldn't stop feeling the anxiety in my chest building just knowing how badly my legs blow out after running in the heat. Right then according to the Richmond Forecast, it would be 75 degrees by the time the race itself ended which only made me fear what race day held for us.

The day before the marathon came and we spent most of it at the very rainy runner's expo. You could honestly assume that rainy weather in the late fall would bring about cooler temps, but it would only bring in warmer numbers on race day. Ironically, race day was predicted to be 65 at start time and it would then plumet near freezing temperatures that day after the race. Is there a number I could call to complain about Mother Nature? Pre-race day ended as any pre-race day should which is at Olive Garden. My pre-run meal of choice is, and likely always will be a Vegan Fettuccini pasta with exactly three breadsticks. Don't ask me why I think this works, but every runner has their own superstitious pre-race rituals and I've never messed with this one. I always feel full but not miserably stuffed after this meal combination.

The morning of the race came with every single butterfly of excitement looming in my gut as you might think. The day of the immense 26.2 was here and I was nervous and excited to take it on! Matt was outside doing his warmup miles near the hotel which was on the same street as the start line, and I was back in the hotel room doing some warmup stretches and doing what I could to make my ankles comfortable in my Saucony Endurances. Great shoes, but absolute wreckage to my left ankle. When race morning arrives and you know you have prepared all that you can, the only thing left to do is stay positive. Attitude means so much and can make or break your perspective!

Once I stepped outside for the first time that day, I was reminded how unfortunately warm it was. We had traveled north hoping for a teeth chattering start line and this is not what we found on race morning. Determined to make the most of it, we walked down the street to where the starting waves were lining up and found our placement spots. I was in Wave 3, in the group of finishers anticipated to finished between 4:00:00 and 4:15:00, and Matt was in Wave 1 for the runners anticipating a finish of 3:00:00 or less. We met up with our friend that we traveled up to meet who was running the same race with us, he and Matt headed off to Wave 1 and I was back in Wave 3 taking in the surroundings. There were thousands of people and I can only say that I can't believe how long the line was to the portas. I didn't need one, but I just thought to myself "Wow, I would be a wreck if I needed to use that this close to start time and finding myself stuck in the back of the line." Runners are very methodical about the timing of the 'morning itinerary' on race morning. Matt being the incredible planner he is booked us a room on the same block as the start line so this was hopefully not going to be an issue for us.

The National Anthem began to play as people scurried to their start Waves or stamped in place while still in line to use the bathroom. You could feel the excitement of this race was building in the crowds as the announcer updated us minute by minute how close it was to gun time. Finally, the last-minute countdown began as you watched everyone clench a gel, start a watch or adjust their earphones for the long race ahead.

You can launch out of the start line with every ounce of anticipation that has been billowing in your gut, or you can have some self-control and pace yourself. An experienced runner knows to have respect for the distance that lays ahead by cautiously trotting over the starting line with lots of grace. The temptation to do otherwise is strong with all the excitement and energy from the crowds but the runner who planned, will be hitting the start on their Garmin just as they methodically set into their easy pace while first time marathoners bound past with the speed of a crack headed cheetah charging at a table of Girl Scout cookies. Great PR on that first mile….now you have 25.2 more ahead of you.

The first half of that race I still hadn’t quite embraced the horrible reality that had found me back in the starting corral. The morning was warmer than planned which only meant doom lay ahead with rising temperatures as the day progresses. Rises temperatures are an incredible enemy for outdoor sporting which only works against you as your body stays in motion. My playlist back at the hotel hadn’t synced despite my multiple attempts in different WIFI zones, so I was forced to believe that my PodRunner playlist I had listened to for the past several runs would work and keep my mind occupied for 26.2 miles. It would work just as well as the perfectly orchestrated mix of Taylor Swifts Out of the Woods, Sam Fedlt, Ellie Goulding ,Yung Wun and DMX, right? There really is just so much 180 BPM music you can listen to before your mind begins to spiral which is about where I found myself at mile 12. By the time we had made it over across the James River the second time, one of my special migraines had started to set in and I had lots of colored auras in my right eye. Thank goodness there was no pain or nausea, or maybe there was but the feeling of the beating sun in my face kept me from noticing.

At mile 16 I couldn’t avoid the pain in my abdomen that had already been building since the start corral. Despite my best effort, and doing everything I could to prevent it, I made the horrible discovery that no runner wants to admit while still in motion, I needed to go to the bathroom. I knew it just as soon as I said goodbye to Matthew when we went to our separate start corrals. I couldn’t believe it, our hotel was less than a block from the street where the race started so I knew going into race week this would be one minor detail and didn’t need to worry with. But there it was again with me at mile 16. I had told myself several miles back that I would stop when I found a porta with no lines and finally, at the blistering hot mile 16 I saw a stop station with no lines and paused the Garmin to make my first stop of the race. Quite frankly I can’t believe I held out as long as I did with only 10 miles left in the race. After my 1-minute break, I was bounding away with renewed energy and incredible relief in my gut that I just couldn’t believe. The next few miles my color distortion had dissipated, and my mind felt more at ease with my vision returning and my gastric pains now gone. Unfortunately, the euphoric feeling of relief was only temporary.

 

Reality of the infamous runner’s wall smashes down on you with the force of a head on collision. One moment you’re swiping a gel into your mouth not even acknowledging how dry your tongue has gotten since that last water station, and then out of nowhere comes an undeniable weakness in your thighs that radiates through your whole body. The back and shoulders are next. Hours of pounding pavement have finally toiled your midsection enough to where your posture just isn’t what it was at the start line. The participation pics at mile 12 look so very different from the pics at mile 22. The halfway point photography captures you in motion like a champion on their way to the Olympic trials whereas, mile 22 poises you like a wanderer looking for a medic tent. Once your legs, your abdomen and shoulders go, then it’s the ankles. Have you ever ran yourself to the point of such tiredness that you have to avoid becoming your own worst natural disaster by not tripping over your feet? The poised stride held up by strength in your shins is long gone and replaced with the dragging plunks of a caveman. Several times after mile 22 I caught my toes skipping over the pavement in stride. “Pick up your feet woman!” I would tell myself in frustration as I listened to another round of my overplayed PodRunner playlist. I think back on the incredible sprain I gave myself in 2010 when I tripped during my first Gate River Run and didn’t want to repeat any avoidable injuries. “Pick up your feet, pick up your feet, Carolyne”

It was hot, and as the miles moved onward so did the temperatures. I saw so much between miles 22-25 that made me question if I would ever sign up for another race like this again. In just the span of three miles, I saw two ambulances and an accompanying runner laying on the sidewalk or outer edge of the road being drenched with water cups or laying their heads on a cold towel in an EMTs lap. I was so glad I at least knew how to pace myself in this heat, being a Florida girl actually paid off because I knew how to ‘just chill’ when I couldn’t push any harder. I was approaching the last mile and I didn’t have the gas my heart had wanted to give those last few meters but I know I would be ok if I just didn’t walk, I knew I could slow my pace but I was going to die before I walked. I was finally past mile 25 and I was just ready for this to end!

I remember coming up on the last mile and seeing the ‘Mile 26’ sign in such awe like it was one of the seven wonders of the world. The race had been misery for me but yet so rewarding at the same time. In a lot of ways, I didn’t want this to be over because I didn’t get the race that I had hoped for, but I was ready to finish so I could get back to working on what I knew I needed to change if I wanted a future successful marathon. Mile 26 was now behind me and in front of me were cheering spectators, and the winding streets of Richmond that led me down a shaded street, to the thankfully downhill finish line. As I pressed my aching joints on, I could see the ‘Allianz Partners Richmond Marathon’ sign that I was only .10 of a mile away from at last!

There is no spirit quite like the one you encounter nearing the finish line of a long race. The emotions that encompass the completion of a major race can overtake you if you don’t mentally stop to simply soak in the surroundings of the smiling cheering faces and congrats from strangers. It’s honestly a feeling like none that I’ve experienced before and have found no other emotion to match. The feelings of pride, accomplishment, and amaze in yourself at what you just did is simply incredible. I could equate it to the feeling of crossing the graduation platform or finishing the last note to a piece of music in front of a large applauding audience. It is by all my own accounts, simply amazing and a feeling I could never put a price tag on!

Less than 1% of the world’s population ever runs a marathon and on November 12th, 2022, I ran my second, hopefully of many marathons.




The marathon honestly taught me a lot about how life goes and where 2022 led me. You stay in motion and trick yourself into thinking everything’s fine, this is easy, and if I just stay at this pace, I’ll make it. But unexpected things happen that pull your focus away from the rhythm of the motion and take away from the beauty of simply being present at where you are. Suddenly, things are harder than you had planned but it doesn't have to take away from the splendor of being blessed to be where you are. This is just life, and the marathon distance only reinforces what we know about planning and adjusting to the unexpected cramps, weather, conditions and unexpected pressure that they both bring with it.

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